Avoidant personality disorder dating site
I try not to make eye contact, so when I do I always easily see several people looking at me. I think that my disorder has influenced this because not having received much love, there is an innate need within me to express it. I am now so accustomed to it that I prefer things that way, not because I like it, but because I know how to deal with it. I worked for him on weekends occasional Sundays too and all my school holidays. My parents were badly married.
I was the one thing she cherished…and could control. I find it much easier to do my own thing than ask permission or seek forgiveness. On the day of the party, I woke up early, relishing the chance to finally get to play with the other kids. I think that my disorder has influenced this because not having received much love, there is an innate need within me to express it. As soon as another woman or date gave me any reason to not trust them then my Trust Demon took over and events followed an almost predictable, speedy downward spiral as I emotionally withdrew. I am not afraid to be unpopular in a workplace, because that just makes it easier to move on when the opportunity presents itself. We went through a lot together and it pains me that today we are not on speaking terms. Then one day my mother said to me that one of the kids had invited me to their birthday party. My mother then decided that I should go to a different high-school than what my few primary school chums went to. Non-submissive women will have detected my wanting to be the senior partner in the relationship and that made me wrong for them. Because of my intellect, physique and forceful nature courtesy of being a badly-socialised only child I was the captain of every team in my school career. Why am I like this? My parents were badly married. Men really are like dogs in that we adhere to a pack mentality…and there can only be one top dog: I am at my best on a one-on-one basis. Being part of a group activity makes me go cold inside and my stomach tighten. This public grilling went on for ages. By the Wednesday night my dinner was a cereal with hot water. In Apartheid-era South Africa, although both were white, my father was an Afrikaner and my mother of English descent, this was a socially inappropriate union. My then girlfriend now ex-wife was facing the same limited options in her working life, although she was a qualified accountant. But I guess I avoid people who come up to me and say hello because I have no way of knowing their real intentions, or whether or not they are psychos or users etc, and could spend my whole life going out once with such men rather than getting on with the stuff I want to do, which tends to be fairly solitary! Sadly I also have no recollection of ever being hugged or shown any kind of affection by either of my parents; they were too busy with their private war. My scars need time to heal. As a teenager I put it down to my gangly awkwardness, as an adult I ascribe it to my height, build and dark hair. My father dropped dead from a heart attack a week before my fourteenth birthday.
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