20 dating a 35 year old
Why did I engage with those people? They have more interesting jobs and hobbies, and their profiles are just better… no stupid selfie-only profiles. On the other hand, the fact that he hasn't successfully resolved his inner conflict and continues to express it to you even though you have absolutely no ability to fix it it's not like you can snap your fingers and magically become older suggests that he's a drama llama. It sounds an awful lot like the kind of thing someone who spends a normal amount of time with their girlfriend would say to explain their naturally sporadic amount of time to the girl being groomed on the side. That was the biggest age gap, but there have been several others of years, and those haven't worked out any worse than my involvements with people closer to my age.
Just because dating without a knot of tension in your stomach is more fun! But he's 34 and if he can't get it together at that age then I don't think you want to mess around with him. I guess before it was more of a speedbump now its like a brick wall or mountain in the middle of the road. My most serious age-gap boyfriend was only five years older but I was 19 and that was a big gap at that age. That said, I married a young woman, 29 years my junior. BlahLaLa is 13 years older than I am, and we met when I was I look back on that marriage with much fondness. It is also really not a good sign how much you've focused on what he wants instead of what you want. It sounds like he's giving himself a list of excuses so if he does hurt you, he can persuade himself he warned you. He has definite ideas of how he likes to do things and what he wants. Or, you could have a romantic dinner at his house and choose not to have sex. Yeah, that is weird. I would step back from all of this, especially because of the history of mini breakups. Occasionally I may break the unofficial "rule" and go out with somebody 10 years younger when we really "click" but at the back of my mind, there's always this concern that maybe I'm taking advantage of her. I do think that I personally matured a lot from or thereabouts, so I understand the "not fully evolved" bit and think there might be a point there. In contrast, he is very much not and has had lots of sexual relationships both casually and in long term relationships his last one was 4 years-they broke up bc he did not feel comfortable with marrying her. I believe there is cause to question the relationship I wouldn't have posted if I didn't. Not because this dude is older than you. He's been meticulously careful about building up to it, the issue is more that I don't like oral and he thinks I should experience that before actual sex. I suspect he can't bear to give the trophy up to anyone else, but is aware of how using you would harm you; thus, his conflict. It is perfectly okay to say to someone, honestly and kindly, "I like you, but I really want a sexual relationship, which you are not currently interested in, so I'm afraid this isn't going to work out for me. In fact, the one time I suggested that to him he said we weren't ready to go there yet. He's been having sex, legally drinking if you're in the US , living independently, all of that for years. Alright, so maybe OkCupid en masse follows dating age conventions, but what about those women who want to flip the norm on its head? Please don't let someone like this have that kind of power over your present or future. Because none of us is perfect, we don't always display full maturity at all times; so, despite realizing that he shouldn't be dating you for all the reasons he says, he's quite right in those and it looks like he has a realistic view of the situation , he's still attracted to you, and those continued meetings just fuel the fire.
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